02.10.2013 Philemon - Work on Connecting Relationships

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Paul is setting a brand new standard for how relationships are supposed to work in the Church. This can be difficult to live up to. Let’s pray:
Lord, thank You that You gave Your life and Your blood was shed that we might have life. That acts as foundation for the way we live – giving us understanding of what we are to be like. It gives us hope to live faithfully to you. In Communion – we meet with You in a unique way – this has been done by Christians everywhere – to remember together – to share this event – taking the bread and cup – thank You for giving us Your life – so much of that is seen in this letter to Philemon. Things You’ve said – things Paul writes – about the cross – this should change us – You want us to be different in every way – to be like You – conformed to Your image – in our relationships with one another and in our service to the Church and to the world. Give us insight into Your word – with hearts that can be molded, affected, and changed. I pray You would speak to each of us to an area we can be transformed.
Philemon 1: 15 Perhaps the reason he was separated from you for a little while was that you might have him back forever— 16 no longer as a slave, but better than a slave, as a dear brother. He is very dear to me but even dearer to you, both as a fellow man and as a brother in the Lord.
Because of Christ – things have changed – you have become brothers – equals. The one who was once a slave has become a brother. Jesus is the great equalizer – eliminating class, race, distinctions and any sense of superiority in our lives. Then he takes it a step further.
17So if you consider me a partner, welcome him as you would welcome me.
So accept him as you would me. Paul identifies himself with Onesimus, and he is Philemon’s equal and now is Paul’s equal. If you were Philemon, how would you accept and treat Paul if he were to come? Paul would be an honored guest in Philemon’s house. Maybe he is telling him – if I came to your house – what would you do? If your boss came over for dinner, what would it be like in your house? Or, if you don’t have a boss – if someone famous or important came to your house – how would things be different? Maybe it is a famous Christian, or actor or athlete, or politician – would you put your best foot forward to them – or would you act like their superior. There is a whole dynamic that has changed radically as a result of a letter. He receives a letter that shatters his way of looking at the world. Paul – what he is doing – is very similar to some statements Jesus made.
Speaking to the disciples – Jesus said – Whoever receives you receives Me, and whoever receives Me receives the one who sent Me.
How would you accept and treat Jesus if He came over for dinner?
Matthew 25 – and the king will answer them, I tell you the truth, just as you did it for one of the least of these, you did it for me.
Paul is encouraging Philemon to accept Onesimus as he would accept Jesus. The way we treat others is what we think of others.
Whatever we consider the ones who are the least – each of us has a different view of what ‘the least’ is – it could be someone from different theological views or race or political persuasion – or someone who struggles in an area – we think no one should struggle in that area – whatever it is – that defines the level of our love – and he is saying to Philemon – your relationship to Onesimus will define your level of discipleship.
We are partners – and Paul places Onesimus as a bridge to connect Paul and Philemon’s ministry for the gospel.
If we are going to continue as partners in ministry together, it will happen through Onesimus. He is the one who will connect us and allow us to continue – he is our connection now.
Philemon must be thinking – Oh my! He is making him my equal – and now we are needing to work together. This is significant – it is through them that you will minister to me, God is saying –
God does this so often – bringing just the right people – and it is through that – God says – I have a ministry for you – and we don’t WANT that ministry – we want to minister to these nice people we are comfortable with – people who think the same way we do. God has much to teach us – and he is trying to teach this concept that we are family – and to love the least – and the way we treat one another is the way we treat Jesus.
18 If he has done you any wrong or owes you anything, charge it to me. 19 I, Paul, am writing this with my own hand. I will pay it back—not to mention that you owe me your very self.
Not to mention it – but he does! Onesimus is seen as a runaway slave – and it is apparent that Onesimus owes Philemon something – like Jean Valjean in Les Miserables – and it is apparent that Philemon owes something to Paul – but Paul is saying – if he owes anything – charge it to me. Christian relationships cause us to make up others’ debts – like Jesus paid our debt. And we have a responsibility to pay for others’ debts – suffering alongside of others – being willing to step in at a necessary time – when it is time to step in.
I don’t know what Paul knew of Jesus’ parables – but two should come to mind – the Prodigal Son – the older son – who is Philemon, the younger son, in a sense, is Onesimus – who has to return – but something has changed – but the older son will have a hard time receiving the younger son – and the second one – the two debtors – one owes the king a great amount of money – what he could never repay in 10 lifetimes – and the king forgives the debt – and that guy goes out and finds a guy who owes him, like, a week’s paycheck – and he puts him in prison. Paul says – Onesimus owes something – I’ll handle it – and by the way – you owe me what you can’t pay – you owe me your very self. There is only one way to repay me – to become my slave. He is not going to do that, of course, but it is the same picture of what Jesus said – a picture of redemption.
We are Onesimus – that is us – we are not Philemon – and we are not Paul – we are the one who has run away and is found – and he has paid our debt. Maybe we are Philemon – and we need to recognize what a great debt has been paid on our behalf. Do we really think that the debt we had was less? That is the point of Jesus’ parables – your debt was just as big – and he was telling it to those who lived the nice life – who followed the rules – but the debt is just as big as anyone’s debt.
With that attitude – it changes our view of others. It will dramatically change how you view people – when you realize the size of the debt God has forgiven us.
He goes on as he closes:
20I do wish, brother, that I may have some benefit from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ. 21Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I ask.
Paul’s appeal is one of love – BROTHER! Affection and love. He doesn’t use guilt or fear – he doesn’t want Philemon to do this under compulsion. It is easy in church stuff to manipulate and use compulsion – but Paul doesn’t do that – he wants Philemon to volunteer – not under compulsion.
Like giving – not under compulsion – God loves a cheerful giver.
Galatians says – it was for freedom that Christ set us free – we have freedom before God – God is not holding it over us – but take your freedom to love and serve – in your freedom – love and serve, give of yourself.
I know – our kids, and if you think of it that way – we see the church as family and other Christians as part of our family – serving becomes easier.
Our kids have purchased houses – and they need help – there is always work to be done – and who do they call? Mom and Dad! But we love going down to help with their houses – they are our kids – they are family – and I think that is what Paul is getting at – Just like you would love to pay the debt of a family member if you could – so you must love to do that for a family member in Christ.

22And one thing more: Prepare a guest room for me, because I hope to be restored to you in answer to your prayers.
23Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, sends you greetings. 24And so do Mark, Aristarchus, Demas and Luke, my fellow workers.
He starts naming people they would know – co-laborers together…
25The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.
He brings the whole relationship stuff together and closes with this – church is a place of relationships
3 things to complete this book
1) see relationships as a priority within the church – other relationships, of course – but in the church, relationships need to be a priority
2) people need connections
3) Each of us needs to be a connector – we each have a responsibility to play in God’s kingdom as a connector. It can happen in many ways – when we think of being a connector, we think of certain personality types – and think – they are connectors – but you know – I think introverts may be the best connectors – I really do – they CAN be some of the best connectors – not just the extroverts – but you introverts need to learn to do it in a different way.
Someone was telling me how every week they sent a card every week for a period of time – using your gifts to connect to people. Little of this should take place inside of church – you are only here for an hour – but we need little ways to connect throughout the week.